Tuesday, November 9, 2010
To Lena
To Lena,
Lena Binder was a very special person in my life. She was my grandmother, my bubby.
She arrived from Austria in the early 1900’s on a ship at Ellis Island. Somehow she ended up in Detroit Michigan married to Harry Binder. She passed in 1986 at the age of 95. I met her in 1954 at Sinai Hospital, I guess. They lived on a street called Tracy in Detroit Michigan. If I told you anymore, this would be a history lesson and I would let my youngest son Seth write it. However, this is not that type of story. This is a story of what my Bubby Lena meant to me.
First, I only had one grandmother as my mother’s mother died when my mother was very young. Her father lived in Florida, so we only saw him a few times. This left Harry and Lena Binder as the only grandparents that I knew most. My Zadye, grandfather Harry passed when I was very young. I remember walking down the street I lived on, Ithaca, in Oak Park Michigan, crying, holding an ice cream that was melting and not understanding any of what was going on.
So that leaves me with memories of Lena Binder that I want to share with you.
As a young child, I remember many things about my Bubby. It is strange what you remember. I’ll tell you of two.
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. Yes, my grandmother made the best grilled sandwiches in the world. She had a grill that she cooked them on. My mother had one that I now have, a Dominion Electric Grill/waffle iron. I have tried for years to make a grill cheese sandwich as good as my Bubby’s. What I remember is that she used lots of butter I believe the sweet, unsalted type. I imagine the bread was white and the cheese American. After she cooked them she would put more butter on the top to finish them before she gave them to us. The only ingredient that I can’t add to mine is her love.
Cleaning. My grandmother taught me about cleaning. Not that I am overly zealous about cleaning. However it was the small attention to details that I remember. One time she stayed over as my parents had gone away, and she started cleaning a bathroom. I remember her taking the powder cleanser and brillo pad and getting close around the faucet to get the dirt until it was clean. Her cleaning was not just at my house. At her house, I remember her, even in her later years, she cleaned the walls. She even cleaned the electric mower, so she could carry it down to the basement, even though she had a garage out back of her house. Now when I take to cleaning something that needs that little extra detail, I remember my Bubby.
So, what brings me to write this? There are a couple of things that I want you to know about the one that you are named. I have already told you that she was special to me. She was so special to me that I want to tell you something that very few people know.
First, before I got married, my to be wife Arlene and I went to my grandmother’s house first and asked her if it was okay if we got married. This was even before we went to Arlene’s parent’s house and I asked her parents if I could marry their daughter. Third in line was to my parent’s house.
Second, from an age way before I got married, I always felt that when I got married and if I had a daughter that I would name her Lena. Being Jewish, as you know, we name only after someone that has passed. Time passed and Bubby Lena lived many years. During that time, I found out that Binder’s only have boys. It was approximately 74 years before the first Binder girl was born since your grandmother May. My two sons were born before Lena passed. Bubby Lena met my oldest son when he was young and Lena passed before she was able to meet my youngest.
So, as you have read, the name Lena and Bubby Lena have a very special meaning and place in my heart. Since I was unable to use the name Lena, your mother had the honor of giving it to you. May you give others blessed memories as Bubby Lena gave to me.
(Note: I started writing this before my father passed in May 2009 and returned to finish this on November 6, 2010.)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
We, Ours, I and Mine As Related To Marriage
We, Ours, I and Mine As Related To Marriage.
(based on 30+ years of life’s education, probably learned the hard way)
Recently a friend of mine posted on facebook …. “I finally bit the bullet and bought a house.” A few of his friends were quick to congratulate him on facebook. I was glad for him and sent him a note in private. “on your post about buying the house... you used the word 'I'... shouldn't it have been 'we'??? His response, “lol, yes, my wife just scolded me for that!!!”
We
A great word to use. It is always good to use when referring to the two of you on most things. Examples such as we are going on a trip, we just bought a house, and we are going to her parent’s house. It is better to include her whenever possible. One quick exception is when you do something stupid. Try to use the ‘we’ word then and this will be quickly corrected to ‘You’.
Our
Another great word to use. As in our house, our money, and other thing you do or have whether you think them important or not.
I
A word that has to be used with great care. Incorrect use of ‘I’ can be met with quick and sometimes painful consequences. It may be OK to say I just got new golf clubs, however if you spouse places equal value on golf clubs then she should get a pair also and then it would become ‘we’.
Mine
Not much use for this word, unless you’re talking about your underwear… otherwise most things can become ours.
Money
This breaks most rules. If you said that I just got paid, it quickly becomes ours. If she gets paid, then it is hers. Translated she would say that what is mine is ours and what is hers is hers.
Moral Of Above
Be careful with the words that you use for even if you use the words correctly you can be corrected.
As for me, I am sure that my education will continue.
(based on 30+ years of life’s education, probably learned the hard way)
Recently a friend of mine posted on facebook …. “I finally bit the bullet and bought a house.” A few of his friends were quick to congratulate him on facebook. I was glad for him and sent him a note in private. “on your post about buying the house... you used the word 'I'... shouldn't it have been 'we'??? His response, “lol, yes, my wife just scolded me for that!!!”
We
A great word to use. It is always good to use when referring to the two of you on most things. Examples such as we are going on a trip, we just bought a house, and we are going to her parent’s house. It is better to include her whenever possible. One quick exception is when you do something stupid. Try to use the ‘we’ word then and this will be quickly corrected to ‘You’.
Our
Another great word to use. As in our house, our money, and other thing you do or have whether you think them important or not.
I
A word that has to be used with great care. Incorrect use of ‘I’ can be met with quick and sometimes painful consequences. It may be OK to say I just got new golf clubs, however if you spouse places equal value on golf clubs then she should get a pair also and then it would become ‘we’.
Mine
Not much use for this word, unless you’re talking about your underwear… otherwise most things can become ours.
Money
This breaks most rules. If you said that I just got paid, it quickly becomes ours. If she gets paid, then it is hers. Translated she would say that what is mine is ours and what is hers is hers.
Moral Of Above
Be careful with the words that you use for even if you use the words correctly you can be corrected.
As for me, I am sure that my education will continue.
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